lovefull

He met the sweet young lady months ago. He knew nothing much of her, except her favorite color. Must have been a coincidence, He thought, for they have they happen to have the same preferences regarding that color. It never came to his mind that he'd fall for such a lovely lady. Days, weeks and months passed by. Slowly, he saw a different side of her. Somehow he developed something within him, admiration perhaps? fondness maybe.. or he simply just liked her as time progressed.

One day, the man has decided to pursue her. He wanted to tell her how he really felt, but he couldn't. So he prayed for guidance, strength and a discerning heart.. Then he mustered up all his courage and made the first step by writing her a letter. Telling her how special she is, that he liked her and wanted to get to know her better. He asked her out to dinner, making a way for him to have that opportunity to confess. Days, and weeks passed by and there was no response..

Patiently he waited, until one day the man decided that he is to ask her out personnally and begin a journey to uncertainty. Funny and traditional as it may seem he started by sharing his plans and intentions to that lady's closest friends. He even asked for their blessing for the things that he was about to do.. Well, basically He knew the risk..

lovefull

They traveled in search for that place in her mind. Only to have found that she was unsure if they were heading to the right direction. Instead they wandered around the area hoping they would find the place. To no avail they were not able to find it.. so they decided to call it a day.

It was a tiring day. But not a typical one. It's as if the man was bursting with energy even with all those things that he did for that day. It's his first time to be with the lady, just the two of them. It was something he was praying for the whole time. Everything happened so quickly, it's as if the universe conspired to make it all happen. The time, the place, the route, and the words.

Distance gave them enough time to get to know about each other's past. Though the man was unaware how the conversation started. He just listened with his heart. Then as the plot thickens, he felt her pain. At that moment, he wanted to hold her hand. Tightly grip it and just make her feel he was there. He also wanted to hug her. Embrace her and say "I felt your pain". But everything was all in his mind. He would have done all those things..  Not that he didn't want to but he couldn't. He just couldn't do it.

There were so many questions lingering in his mind. There were also countless unuttered word that was at the tip of his tongue. He wanted to believe he could do it. yet the only thing he was able to say was.. "will you go out with me?"

The man heard her answer that night. But he wasn't so sure of what she meant by that. He yearned for an explanation.. but alas! Fear strucked him..

lovefull

So much activities. So much happiness to share. So much love to give away. And I feel great.

Started the day at the foundation. Happily volunteered myself to be at the kitchen and made myself an instrument to share God's blessing to the poor. Cooked a meal for some poor families in a far away place. And decided to make this a weekly habit that is if I didn't have any work on saturdays. Anyway I believe that I could still do something and sacrifice a day's work for a day of sharing, fun, happiness and love.

Had to leave the foundation at an earlier time today. I went out with the kids min family to have some bonding moments at binondo. The usual routine since then for me. Binondo church, then food trip. I don't know if it's still a coincidence but there was a wedding today as we went to the church. I guess that's normal for me to expect a wedding when visiting churches just like those days in the past.

Thank you to all those who made today's event possible. I had a great time and I'd say this was something I could call a prevalentines date. Oh well.. I guess there's no hope for me to expect something on the day itself. So much for the main event.

....

Oh I liked that jade pendant too. But I guess I never mentioned it to her. She liked it too. I could see the look in her eyes she wanted it. (I just hope I'm not wrong on this one. hehe.) Well, I really did want to buy it but she deserved to have that one so i didn't argue. I just failed to compliment and tell her that it looked nice on her. Maybe some other time.. On the contrary, I found something interesting.. a purple stone pendant. for someone special. That special lady. It was nice but decided not to look into the matter of buying anything expensive for someone special this v-day. No need to expound on this one though..

lovefull

Finally, I got to donate blood today. Thank God for the opportunity. Felt a bit drained after the blood letting activity. My right arm was wimping as if there were no blood flowing on that arm. But all is well. Though I may have felt weary and tired, nothing could compare to that feeling. The feeling of satisfaction and happiness that you were able to help someone just by giving them your blood. Oh this is great.

I even had energy to serve in the kidz min today. Meet my cg members. Join the my other cg and even met up with our cg coordinator. I guess that was too much for one day considering the fact that I even had my blood donated. I guess you can't be too tired to serve God and others as well. I'm thankful that I was to do all those activities without me collapsing or anything happening like that for that matter.

And just to seal the day of, had buffet dinner at a japanese restaurant with phoebe. If you personally know me, then feel free to ask who is she and i'll gladly introduce you to her. If not then you could look for me at the PICC on sundays. XD

lovefull

I never thought that this would be such a wonderful night. I wouldn't say that it's the best valentines day ever but it's better. Better than the previous year. Now, I understand how it means to celebrate valentines day. I just hope and pray that it gets better and better on the coming years.

Thank you so much for such a wonderful and splendid valentines night. Hats off to all of the ladies I was with tonight. I had fun and enjoyed every minute of us all being together. You're all together lovely and wonderful to me. I wish you more happiness and more blessings on the coming days. Again thank you so much for sharing the love. It was heart warming indeed.

Sa uulitin. XD

lovefull

Do you have any idea what's going through my mind lately? Have you ever thought of how hard it was for me when I tried to talk about my special someone in front of the crowd. And you were the only one who knew that it was you whom I was referring to. Could it be any harder to say all these words in front of you?

I wonder if it's unintentional or you are slowly fading away. I'd like to make myself believe that everything was a coincidence but I couldn't help but wonder why and how are you doing such things. I know I've made you feel awkward but was it wrong for me to express my feelings?

I know there are a lot of things going through your head right now, and I just don't wanna add up to those things just by getting into the picture.  You might still be undecided but I'd like you to know that I could wait for that time when you'll be able to answer all my questions. Uhm, if not all.. atleast some (the important ones) will do. In time, some things will change. But whatever changes comes and whatever your answers may be, please know that I'd still be here for you.

 I'd always be here for you...

lovefull

On my way home, something frightening happened. I guess the initial reaction was fear but I don't know if it occured to me the dangers of just what happened a while ago. Was seated on the window side of an ordinary bus with my mind drifting away from reality. Thinking stuffs, about my degrading health and ofcourse the never ending questions about life and love.

Just when I was about to close my eyes. I heard the sound of a glass shattering. Then I felt something on my hands and my arms. They were small pointed objects. And some are in a way piercing my skin as some other pieces fell on my lap. Little did I know that the bus I was on happened to hit another bus' side mirror. The passenger seated in front of me was frantically looking back at me and checking out the broken pieces of mirrors on the window pane. And I was just like.. uh? huh?

It happened so fast but I felt like I had the most delayed reaction. Everyone was moving away from me and the window while I just sat there as if nothing dangerous happened. What a late reaction you could say. It would seem that I'm the kind of guy who doesn't care of what happens to me. Actually, It's not exactly that way.. I know the perils and the dangers of what could have been at that instant. I'm just thankful it didn't turn out to be on the worst side. I could have been cut, bruised and even blinded by the shards. Somehow I just felt its sharpness and made me realize what pain it could have given. I'm thankful for the circumstances, and for His protection.

something caught my attention while I was browsing through certain stuffs about a minute ago. And that wasn't me she's talking about. cause I've been quite uhhmm idle for sometime.. and she doesn't even seem to..........
well I wonder...

lovefull

Where were you today?  Haven't you noticed I missed you?

Never is communication so profound
as when no word is uttered,
and never is silence as eloquent
as when nothing is said.

Make us understand that silence
is not a lack of interest in others,
but a radiant source of energy that unfolds;
and to overflow
one must be filled.

lovefull

Why do we have repeated experiences? Its because repeated experiences have one aim, to teach us the things we refuse to learn. That's what they always said about life. Now, I'm going through my past again in search for the answer. What was it that I missed? What am I looking for? Frankly speaking, I do not know.

I do not know what's happening to me. I used to be the guy who could take it all. But lately, I feel like I'm different from my old self. As if I couldn't hold on, that I needed someone to talk to. Regardless, I can't be sulking in a corner. Though I feel I need people to listen, it's just that I can't seem to handle my problems nowadays. I am trying to change but I never thought this could happen. Is this a good thing? Sigh.. I wonder if everything is falling into place or is it still falling apart.

It's still bothering me. This feeling called love. It's her.. I'm thinking that I have done everything but a part of me tells me that I could do more. But I couldn't think of anything. If she could have said yes to the invitation then maybe I could have that plan into reality. Everything's unclear, uncertain. I know I took the risk, still the friendship hangs on the balance. It's as if the past was repeating itself. Forgive me if I am comparing. It's just that I'm probably losing my mind just thinking about it.

I know she's happy, but I want her to be happier, and somehow, I also want to be part of that happiness. I know I'm not that good but I'm trying to be better. I really don't know if I could be hitting rock bottom sooner or later.. still hopes are high.

What does the future entail? That my friend I do not know. But one thing is sure, if there's something I could do about it, I'll do my best and not give up. But if there's not much more I could do then I give it all to you Lord. I surrender myself to you. Let Thy will be done.

In love I accept everything
let Your will be done
into Your hands I commend myself
in silence and in peace.

lovefull

So much I wanted to write today but I just feel so tired. Had too much activity for today. I'll write them all down as the week progresses. As for now, I need that doze of sleep. And just for tonight, I'll try not to think too much of her.  XD I just hope and pray that everything will be alright.