lovefull

I am impossible. Yes indeed. And I thought these things that have happened were impossible to begin with. Yet the impossible became the inevitable. "When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth." Though the truth hurts. There is not much you can do about it. but just live with the truth.

Honestly, I am afraid, probably of loving again. Nah. Not because of rejection. The fear of being rejected was never an issue. Can't blame people if they don't like you in the 1st place. It's a matter of choice, a matter of respecting other people's decision. After all, you can't mess with free will.

The truth is, somehow i developed one great fear from this experience. That is being left because you were not good enough for the one you love. That same person who said he/she loves you too for that matter. But come to think of it, it goes pretty much the same with rejection. Everyone is entitled their own choice. Their own free will.

I may have partially lived with the truth and will fully live with it someday. But still, part of it wreaks havoc inside me. Imagine your self confidence going down the drain. Flushed away by such emotional trauma. Though some could easily get away and re-established that trait. There are still those who are just not built to be preyed, those who are having a hard time recuperating.. and there are also those who just stands up back to their feet again as if nothing has happened. But then, the worst part, there are still those who are not even willing to take just one step forward to free themselves from the misery.

Well, lucky me... I say, I am one of those who had a hard time fixing myself, but is compliant enough to pull myself together and start anew.

So thank you. For those who cared. For those who stood by me. Close friends and the some new found ones. Anonymous and others alike. Thank you. As feb-sunset said in her entry.. again Thank you.

And as I sleep tonight. There's not much I could say but these words of reality from the bottom of my heart.

It's weird. I spent so much time wishing that none of this would have happened and that i never would have fallen in love with you in the first place. But now I really can't imagine my life happening any other way. Thank you. May he be the one  you've been waiting for. God bless to both of you. I guess it's safe to say..

Lyn, You're the one that got away.