lovefull

Parang commercial lang. =)

I was having 2nd thoughts this morning.. whether to get up and go to church or just sleep all day. Well I wanted to sleep and take a good days rest. I had work yesterday so I am tired. Not to mention that I know I am lacking a good night sleep lately. Wasn't having enough time to sleep. I used to sleep early at round 9pm everynight in the not so distant past but then everything really changed since that day. And that includes my sleeping habit. Sigh..

Despite the fact that I really wanted to just lay down on my bed for the rest of the day. I manage to pull myself together. Took a bath. Fix myself and went off to church at 645 this morning. And as usual everything just goes on smoothly when I am at the feast. Tiredness just goes away. Sleepiness doesn't come to haunt me. Somehow I feel energized with the good news of the Lord. And the praise songs sang in the feast. Talagang mapapaindak ka sa kanta. Though the lyrics are posted infront through powerpoint presentation.. pero kahit di mo alam ung melody. You'll sing to the top of your lungs. But the thing I liked the most is how the song "Ama namin" is delivered at the feast. Lovely melody.. oh. lalo na pag may violin. Yeah. May nag vviolin dun sa church. Ang ganda pakingan.. heavenly as i could describe it.

Another thing. I saw her again. The one who got my attention. She was sitting an aisle away from where I was. I barely noticed her. I don't know how my eyes found her pero that was it. And all I could  do is look. For the eyes only. as they say..  Well.. atleast for now.. who knows maybe if she gets to sit beside me again  on the next sundays to come.. I might just open up a conversation. :p

To top it off. Something uhmm.. weird?? Unimaginable? I dunno know how to put this in words. Happened. I went online on ym  today without being invisible. Lyn messaged me. Shocked as I am. I still replied though.  We chatted as if nothing happened between us. As if I was a distant friend. And i'm glad i was able to control myself and be neutral too.. And I was succesful not to bring out anything of the past. Didn't asked questions. Just went with the flow. Though  it wasn't the normal conversation. She needed help about something. Somehow she knew I was good at that thing so she messaged me. I was courteous enough to answer her questions. I just hope I helped her even in just a small way..

It was a pretty good conversation even though I'd agree it was all about non-sense. I was the one who told her to contact me she needed anything.. pero somehow i just don't get it. I know it was over.. pero kahit papano nandun parin ung sakit na idinulot ng nakaraan. Di ko lang talaga alam kung pano nya nagagawa un. I guess it's easier  to live for those who made that decision to end a relationship compared to those who were still willing to fight for that love..

But then.. just take a good look at me now? Life is hard.. as it may seem.. pero it still goes on. And I found out that happiness comes from within. =)

Be happy. Enjoy life. Live your life to the fullest.