lovefull

It's time to curl up in one corner of my room. It's time to break down and cry.. but I think it's just about time to start letting go.. and move on.. a little step each day.. until finally.. set myself free from these chains of sorrows that kept me in a bounded rationality about love.

So, what's the idea? well, i don't know if you would consider this rude.. i don't know about what she's going to think about me if she gets to read this but hey i just want to express myself too.. this was from her latest blog entry.. and i hope people would not judge her based on her words and my current situation which is much like lower than dirt.. so please, i beg you not to..

"currently in limbo, a different kind of limbo than before, but I don’t mind. we don’t have the labels –boyfriend and girlfriend, or currently dating, or mutual agreement, or what not. it’s just that we don’t feel the need to categorize, yet. the fact is, we’re happy with each other. the commitment is present, the contentment is there. what more do we need? i doubt society’s approval would make us happier than how we already are. sure, it’ll make things so much easier, but hey, who says we really care what they think? after all, we’ve established long ago that what we think of each other matters most, and that’s about it.

so bakit nga ba hindi pa kami? i mean, we already act like it. because… 1. i want the friendship there. forever. 2. we’re not really in a hurry, anyway. as long as we know where we stand, we’re ok. 3. our families don’t have any idea yet of how serious this is, and somehow, I’d like to give them a head’s up before coming home and blurting out “hey, guess what? kami na.” the best thing about this? we share almost everything, down to religion. didn’t seem like it before, but it’s a big thing for me. nakakapanibago, pero it feels incredibly nice and different... good different every satuday when we have our short devotions. it's a good peaceful feeling."

I may have introduced this guy as *jacob* from some of my earlier entries but i have not written much about him or their current situation.. it's because i really don't know anything him or what's happening with them.. i just get the updates from her blog. To find out how she's doing and all. I don't know when he came into her life, must have been after that painful incident or could have been before it happened. But then who cares anyway?.. oh, wait.. she does. I may not know much about him but I know he is one lucky / blessed guy who came at the right time in her life..Btw, did i mention that i know that she's happy? And that i envy the guy for doing all the right things at the right time.

It's been 104 days since she decided to end our relationship. People might think that it's just too early.. but then again.. if it's never too late for love.. then the same thing applies.. there's no such thing as too early for love. I've always believed that commitment starts the moment that you decide to court a girl.. at hindi mo dapat ligawan kung sa huli ay iyo rin namang iiwanan. And that's just my way of thinking. It may be different for all guys out there.. and there could always be that exception.. and that exception usually depends on you.

As much as i want to be bitter.. I just don't feel like being one.. because I know that i don't have the right to.. and i really don't have much time to, either.. instead of the bitterness.. all that was left were unanswered questions and some realizations that i might just post on the coming days.

I am thankful she's doing great and is happy. Even if it could not be me.. and even if it hurts.. that would not keep me from loving her. This doesn't mean i'm giving up on her. I need to respect her decision. if time wills it.. and if she lets me.. i'd always try to make her fall for me.. Still, there is hope in me.. that she might still change her mind..  that i might do something extra ordinaire to revert all the things that have happened.. but then i'm not really counting much on that idea.. because it's probably me.. just dreaming..  Still thinking if i should see her or not.. probably to say thank you and other stuffs.

I am just beginning to learn the art of letting go. Pls bear with me.. and help me accept the reality..

and here's something to think about... an icebreaker, haha.

do you know about the continental drift theory??... well, kung ang lupa ay naghihiwa-hiwalay.. tao pa kaya?

Good night.. or should i say good morning..