lovefull

Finally. Had the guts to call her yesterday. Asked her if we could meet. Damn. Natataranta pa ko di ko alam sasabihin nung sinagot nya ung phone. Her voice.. just melts my anxiety.. then i went on to ask if we could see each other.. maybe after her work or before she goes to ultra. Its her running day thing.. but she said maybe next time, not now. She will have a meeting soon and an activity later that night. As much i want to ask her personally.. kilala ko naman siya so i don't want to be much of a bother or makulit for that matter. 

So much for my excitement and eagerness. It all end up with exchange of sms. She msg why? so i went directly to the point. I asked her if we could meet this sunday.. and if she have any plans on that day. She said, church with someone.. i said that was my plan too. church then talk, lunch and if she wills it.. could be up to dinner. I have plans laid out if ever she agreed to be with me on that day. But my situation was hopeless. I still asked to see her perhaps some other day. Well, the answer was painstakingly the same as it was 3 months ago.. she said that she's not comfortable with  the 2 of us going out anymore. Even with those words piercing my heart.. I still saw a light from that. I replied.. if i could get someone else to come with us.. kahit isa lang then would she agree to go out with me... from that she replied pwede si bestfriend nalang (I knew this guy, met him and hanged out with him too). I said yes.. pero iba nasa isip ko.. I was choosing and thinking between her girl bestfriend that i've never met before or her youngest brother to be with us  on that day.. I would be much comfortable if her brother or the girl bestfriend na cguro makikilala ako as her EX was there instead of that guy.. I don't have anything about that guy. I know he is good, nice, and a caring friend.. But then I'll always have that feeling na dyahe. Alam mo un? diba? but I just have to agree.. because for all i know.. this could be the last chance i could go out with her..

Now i don't know if i should push through. The date has still not been set yet. And my mind is kinda clouded.. What will i do? Oh i just don't know. What shall i say? It's hard to think of the right words to say.. but i know.. i know that.. I don't want to.. talk about it.. how you broke my heart.. if i stay here just a little bit longer.. if i stay here won't you listen.. to my heart.. Oh oh my heaaart.... 

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Managed to be online on ym today and not be in invisible mode even with her around. Well, i think this is the start..

Should have slept early today.. but must have been carried away writing and remembering all those things that happened yesterday.

Good night then..