lovefull

And I'm in so deep, you know I'm such a fool for you. You got me wrapped around your finger, Do you have to let it linger. Do you have to, do you have to.. Do you have to let it linger... lalala~~

I saw her on my way to work this morning. She looked great, graceful and beautiful as ever. On the other hand, I looked horrible, tired, restless and with hair sticking out pretty much like a broom. The moment i went out of the train. Something told me that i should look to my left. An intuition, maybe. I don't know if she noticed me. But that doesn't matter. I wanted to walk with her. Wanted to talk to her. But i didn't. It's not that i couldn't do it. It's because i know now that i shouldn't. I just went on with my life.. avoiding her..

A friend told me that it is unhealthy to live in the past.. Now, i'm trying to live in the present. Yes. It is hard. To live in the present.. but i must accept the fact. This is the reality i've created.. and with the coming days, i must make myself stronger. Because i know, there will come a time in the future that i am going to suffer an umimaginable pain much excruciating than what i've felt in the past. and that future is near.. i hope not..

I need to divert my attention. Not work. I liked my job way back then.. but now, it feels different. Maybe because my work was one of the reason why i lost her. l have thought of something. This would really take most of my time.. especially during the weekends.. and i won't be at my sanctuary during those times.. I did this way back then. Around 3 years ago.. and i'm hoping to be successful this time..

Everything has its own time. I just hope and pray that when the right time comes.. i would still have the chance to show her what i really meant when i told her i love her.. that is.. if i'm not too late... again..

btw, thanks for my friend's shadow for the advice and on having a glass of water near me when i go to sleep.