lovefull

If everybody deserves a second chance, would it mean we have the freedom to waste the first one?

I'd like to make this concise as possible.. I messed up. Everything turned into ruins.. I was asking for that  5th chance.. that was 3 months ago. I know you gave me 2nd,3rd and 4th chances.. I admit i didn't felt the 2nd.. nor the 3rd. It just happened much like our normal arguements. But then, the 4th. It was the start of a realization. But i failed yet again to make that realization into your much wanted reality. I don't want to you to think that i really wasted all those chances. I was trying.. but i came in a bit too late.. and the fact still remained.. i was a fool afterall.. to not fully recognize how much you meant to me until that day i lost you.

It's been a while since i said these words. I know you don't like hearing these words.. especially if it was coming from me.. but somehow, i just have to.. express myself.. and say.. I'm sorry.. not for everything that has happened.. not for what i did and what i  failed to do.  but I am so sorry for disapointing you.. for being such a stubborn jerk.. for not even growing up to be half the man as your ideal man.

Someday before this month ends.. I'll be coming to see you. To let you know that I love you. Yes.. i still do.  I 'd do anything to make you forget all those things that hurt. Even if I was the one who caused the hurting.  How i wish  I could just take them all away.  I know it could be done..  If you could just let me..

And When that day comes, I'll try not to say I love you.. but instead i'll prove those words to you.. on that day... i just need two things.. a fair weather with an unclouded sky.. and the most important... is to please.. "let me.."

i'm not really even sure if you'd agree to be with me on that day.. so until that day comes. I'll be waitng. But if that day comes, whatever happens from that day on.. i'd respect your decision.. even if that would mean.. you going.. and me staying..