lovefull

I got less than a day left. I'm not sure how this would end. But I'm certain she's not coming back. And if she ever changed her mind then it would be something like a hell of a miracle. Excuse me about the words, it's just that i'm trying miserably to forget her.. i really would like to bare it all here. All those emotions deep down inside me..  I'm trying but something inside me is eating me alive.  Argh. Life really is unfair. I'd say often times.

You told me not to love you.. that you're not coming back anymore.. I just don't get it. It's not that easy for me to fall in and out of love and yet you make it look so simple. Much like a snap of a finger and everything's out of place. We loved each other. We held on to each other for 3+ years. We had problems and misunderstandings. and there were times i could have let go.. but i never did. I love you. And i wanted to be with you forever.. There were times when you wanted to end our relationship but somehow I manage to do the right things and we still had each other. But the last time.. I don't understand.. I don't want to think that what we had was doomed the moment you 1st brought up the letting go topic. Now i can't remember anymore why you fell for me in the first place. And after all that we've been through you'd probably say i don't have the characteristics you want your lifetime partner to have. I wish i had a disclaimer sign on my head the moment you fell in love with me. Something like. Disclaimer: This guy is boring often times. An insensitive one. And other stuffs that you would really want to know about me. So that you'd have the slightest idea what you were getting in to. I really wish i had that one.. but there's something better than that.. and that is.... i wish we still have each other.